1. - Saturday June 21st 2025 - Summer Solstice
Had an edible and watched Misdommar which I think is the only way to watch Midsommar. Great movie. Watched the director's cut but obviously didn't notice much of a difference because when I watched the regular cut I was stoned too. Feel neutral about which version is better because both times I was just super engaged. Makes you think about death a lot. Two people die preordianed deaths, and I sit there thinking about how scary it is, knowing the exact day you're going to die, having a fixed length lifespan. Then others who are chosen at random out of a group. Waking up in the morning with one in thirty odds of dieing that day! Scary stuff. It's also the solstice, hence the rewatch, so I'm thinking about the pace of time twice over. Obviously I'm going to live to 200 and probably forever, but it is strange to know roughly what proportion of your life is behind you. But it doesn't feel like 24 years - it feels like a sort of soupy eternity that fades off into lost memory. I started journaling this year to have a record of individual days and to combat patchy memory. It hasn't actually helped me remember things in my head, but it's nice to know I have a record of stuff.
Speaking of records, listened to the a-side ST37's Spaceage because it has stonehenge on the back cover. Didn't do the back side because Amy made the clutch move of sticking on some folk on spotify. Fairport Convention's Come All Ye and Linda Perhac's Sandy Toes are favourites at the moment. We've burned candles, which we must do more often. I want to make a monstro wax blob by burning some over and over. Maybe sculpt stuff into it only for it to get slowly re-buried by more melted wax.
Cousins staying the night for my aunt's hen night. Bron's here too, staying for a week. Have been sent a photo of dick straws.
xan early potential choice for Album of the Season, perhaps?
x
2. - Sunday June 22nd 2025
On my way home from work. Hello dear readers! You may have noticed that TCR#4 is looking a little different to previous issues. This year I've been keeping a daily journal, as well as making these occasional newsletters, and I thought it would be genius to combine the two into some freaky new thing. This could backfire if I don't do anything interesting and you end up reading nearly a hundred days worth of entries of me going to my very normal job, or sitting at home and twiddling my thumbs. At the very least I'll be getting stoned and watching movies pretty regularly. I'm also still going to be keeping my other journal - this isn't a replacement, just a sort of additional thing because I think it'll be interesting to see how different they are given that one is VERY public and the other is almost exclusively private. I'm going to try and have an entry for every day between now and the autumn equinox, although I have occasionally forgotten to write in my comprehensive year journal. I think I'm less likely to forget to do it with this one because 1. Its on my phone instead of a ratty notebook and 2. The more i write the more junk you're obligated to read, ha ha ha. I'm also going to try to be totally honest and only write about any given day ON that day and also try and not censor whatever i write, whether I was sober drunk or high. So there might be some weird shit.
Anyway, today we had breakfast with our departing cousins and then rewatched 28 Days Later in preparation for 28 Years. Masterpiece shit. Of course I love the grainy cameras it's filmed with. Feels as if you're watching it play out in memory, with details faded and blurred, images overlayed in reflections, idyllic paintings in place of reality. Expect to see thoughts on 28 Years in a few entries time.
xthe exception being if I am writing after midnight because I'm a notorious night owl and more often than not end up writing in my other journal at 2am when it is technically the next day but at that point it's just total pedantry
x. - The Cass Report 4
"You've built up all this goodwill and now you're going to ruin it by posting something stupid. Don't do it!" - Ed
Hello again dear reader. TCR#4 has ended up ridiculously enormous, so to prevent a self-indulgent disaster, I have split it into three versions:
1. The Highlights
You're reading the highlights right now. This is an abridged version closer to the length of a normal Cass Report (still too long)
2. The Original >>>
The full, unabridged text of TCR#4, with an entry for nearly every day between the summer solstice and autumn equinoxe. (You have to be nuts to read this in full. Maybe just look for the days you know you're mentioned in or something.)
3. The Director's Cut >>>
The de-abridged version. Yellow yaps are automatically expanded into the text, and the font-size is scaled up to normal TCR size so that it's extra long. I just thought it would be funny.
4. - Tuesday June 24th 2025 - Dear Wes
Off to a good start, wondering if this is interesting enough and then falling asleep half way into writing it. Was going to say yesterday, it's strange writing for other people, even though obviously I've done three Cass Reports now. But doing my everyday journal for public consumption is strange because normally I'm just doing it for my own benefit, keeping track of what I've done that day, and that's not always going to be particularly interesting to anyone else. Anyway I'm home from Brighton now, after an afternoon spent at the seafront, but not swimming in the too-choppy sea, and a quick tour through the quirky lane shops. I could tell you all about the previous days and I will if you click where it says "previous day" in yellow, but that's very much an optional read, because I don't want to be the guy who shows you a 2000 image slideshow about his two weeks in the Norwegian fjords learning about the history of herring salting. Anyway. From Brighton we raced back to London for: Dear Wes... part 2.
Dear Wes... part 1 is a fifteen minute documentary film by Jess Crooks of Trans Matters Worldwide, interviewing trans kids and people involved in various trans and human rights orgs about health secretary Wes Streeting and his upholding of the puberty blockers ban. My friend Raphi is a producer on it and part two, and was today at a screening and q&a at the Rio Cinema in Dalston. Holy shit right! Very immensely cool.
I found myself bubbling up with anger as it went on, which is impressive because the film contains very little. It's set almost entirely to chirpy, positive music and set in soft lighting to a backdrop of static protest signs, and contains a lot of confusion and sadness, but anger is present only as something not being felt currently, if that makes sense. It's definitely happening out of shot, but it's not an angry film. And yet I found myself fuming anyway. Of course, I'm fuming whenever the topic comes up, so I hope it will evoke that in people not yet invested in the "debate" (read: state-sponsored bigotry and violence). I think it will - it sets a totally, honestly bleak tone about the state of things for trans people right now. One of the kids lists off a few horribly transphobic things that have been said to them, and then ends it with but at least I've not gone through any proper transphobia. The state of things is just so dire that we can't envision a society with real trans acceptance. The film makes it very clear how reasonless it is to take away this completely reversible treatment, from a tiny number of kids, whilst tens of thousands of others get it. The cruelty is the point, and there's no room to see it as otherwise. Go and give it a watch and share it around if you can. It deserves a lot of eyes on it, and above all it's an invaluable film because it gives these kids, who are being viciously thrown under the bus by an uncaring, evil government for a few votes, a place to say their own piece. I just hope any of the vile orchestrators of the current climate feel the sum of all the misery they've caused. Fuck you, Wes.
xthe first day we started by wandering through the lanes, in and out of shops. snooper's paradise is a favourite, because it's pretty much just a quikrky interactive museam where every item is up for sale. they have records and vintage clothes, sundials and binoculars, projectors and guitars, star trek merchandise, second hand books, undeveloped photos, vintage maps, sunglasses. great fun. never bought a thing in there. then on to the beach. my sister and i had been down the week previously, and the sea had been swimming-pool-clear, on a hot windless day. now the wind was at twenty miles an hour, and the sea was shitting grey and choppy at low tide. great in the swell, which pulled hard sideways and tugged you from one end of the lifeguard's flags to the other in ten or so waves. warmer in the water than the breeze, too, so you wanted to stay in, but would also get washed down half the beach if you didn't stand. then met with our cousins chris, tom, and tom's partner elena (and their dog) for drinks, them being connoseurs of brighton's pubs and beer scene. then we talk leftistly for the rest of the evening.
xnot to contradict myself talking about how much i love algae two cass reports ago. if you think i'm a hypocrite, to that i say: herring salting probably is pretty interesting yeah
xa big word to use, but i refuse to call them cowardly, because they know exactly what they're doing, and they simply cannot be benefiting enough to justify it in anything other than a sick and twisted way
8. - Saturday 28th June 2025 - Amelia!
Lots to talk about! Bron left this morning, via victoria coach station and the bells of doom tolled again. There were too many passengers for the coach! This time they were on the ball with a replacement, or supposedly, because Bron got on the first and escaped. But this fulfills my brewing conspiracy, that national express are overbooking their coaches because "eh it'll shake out alright". I am fully convinced of this. Ignore the fact that they fully refunded mine AND gave me a voucher which would make that an unfeasible business move.
So Bron got their coach okay! But the problem is that Bron is now gone. ouch. Luckily it's not long until we see eachother again; they're back for my aunt's wedding, in one whole entire ceaseless unending month. Miss you Bron!
From here i expect things will be slow for a week or two. If you are finding this format boring or slow, you should start skipping shit. I'll highlight the next essential piece of TCR#4 reading in red. Godspeed. If you read absolutely every word that's also cool. If you were already skipping shit click here for a subway surfers video you can put alongside this to help your attention span.
Read a script my friend Amelia sent me for feedback which im yet to give. But i will have sent it by the time you're reading this. I hope.
Never a chore to read her work. Exceptional shit, read them with relish every time. Funny, playful, daunting. Peak fiction. And even better you can listen to them! She turns them into professionally voice acted and expertly well produced audio dramas, holy shit how sick is that? Go check out previous work Dying In Space With You.
She also does a newsletter! Head over there!
I've just been through the aforementioned woods. Yes to get stoned. I found that a branch of the catreedral featured in tcr#3 has snapped, but instead of falling to the ground, has been caught by the other tree. Suddenly it's a very cool, very precarious natural sculpture that i was a little worried would all come crashing down on my head.
xwe talk mostly on discord so to me her name is actually "Amelia!"
x
18. - Tuesday July 8th 2025
Moon rising above Hinkley point like it's just a well formed cloud. Not any lighter than anything else in the sky yet, the sun's only just set. Walked down into the brick arm protected bay, low tide. On the sand with dozens of sand fleas hopping about right now. Zach and Joe visited from Bath for a beach day which turned into a little hike around historic Barry. The roman ruins, the bronze age burial mound, through Porthkerry to Barry castle. Moon is starting to brighten up now. Very fun time. Sea was lovely! Dropped them off at the station and heard music coming from the little coffee shop. Turned out to be improv synth and bass played live for a drawing-to-music session.
You have to cross a stream of outflowing water to get up the other side so of course I got distracted and waded in it and the sea a little there. All the clouds are a beautiful pinky purple. Pebbles dragged by the water in little migrating herds.
Have a recording of one of the previous music-drawing sessions on. Very cool. You can hear the platform noises, the announcements, the trains rolling in. So cool to find that! Great day and it's only 9.30. Better get my shoes back on to go meet Bron on their way home from dnd.
23. - Sunday 13th July 2025
God damnit journaling fucking sucks because you get to the end of a long day and youre ready to sleep and its like fuck I have to journal.
Me and Ed and Amy were in Milton Keynes (actually Hanslope) for a sci-fi convention called smallspace which weve been to a few times. Our aunt helps to run it and we volunteer too which involved making teas and coffees and assembling the world's most homely bacon baps and burgers. Its pretty sick. Loads of spaceship modelling enthusiasts packed into a tiny little village hall. Also happens to line up with the day the village has a church fair, so we climbed its tower and saw the bells and the view of the marvellous (flat and dare i say, boring) milton keynes landscape. I'll see if ed wants to contribute his own recollection of the day tomorrow.
We came home from that and me and Ed went straight to the local wetherspoons where my everyman colleague luigi was having birthday drinks. Ended up being the funniest work pub night potentially of all time. Long story short my manager said this.
38. Friday 1st August 2025
At Mac's place. 3am. Finally met Mac's husband Dom after months if not years of being told nothing about him because he's "mysterious". I'm not going to tell you anything about him because he's mysterious.
63. Tuesday 2nd September 2025
Night here in Barry, with thick dark clouds overhead. They've been rolling over all day bringing fits of rain, mostly harmless but occasionally torrential.
When I arrived yesterday I was reminded of the music and drawing session i went to at the coffee shop last time, because that coffee shop is right in the station. I checked their instagram and wow! What a coincidence, the next session was today! So I've just been at that, and it was just as good as last time. Wild to think that the last time, when it ended there was that amazing sunset that I'm already using as the backdrop for this, and now, at the same time of day a few months later, it's dark and stormy. Walking out to the harbour arm again. Not going down onto the sand today but it'll be nice to hear the sea.
xyes I know that's how it goes every year. It's just cool okay!
73. Monday 15th September 2025 - THIEVES
very windy day! it's got cold in the house fast! here comes autumn! have been just relaxing and feeling FINE about it and not procrastinate-y having finished thieves. wow who knew making things was rewarding??? also very happy because i was meant to have work at 9am tomorrow but it's been cut back to 2pm hell yeaaaah. wait. i forgot i need money to live! NOOOOOOOO!
anyway i've mentioned it a few times in here but i should talk about it in a self-contained way. i have been working on short novel "THE GODS OF BELHIME" for a few months, and recently started fixing up the first draft to share it around. before i got very far, i was struck by inspiration for another thing, which i decided to use as a little break from belhime. enter THIEVES, a 26 page short thing about three arseholes who go into a tiny wood in their neighbourhood and find themselves totally, completely lost. written in about a week i think? you can read it NOW!!! it's literally FINISHED! hmu if you wanna give it a read and don't have a copy already
74. Tuesday 16th September 2025 - Album of the Season!
Well I've just been messaging Roshan about music and albums, so I suppose the time has come for ALBUM OF THE SEASON!
There have been plenty mentioned so far. Just as a refresher, we've had:
Spaceage - ST-37 (Entry #1)
V - Unknown Mortal Orchestra(Entry #12)
Mahal - Toro Y Moi (also #12)
The Clearing - Wolf Alice(Entry #64)
Double Infinity - Big Thief (Entry #75)
And Portishead's Dummy scored much of my summer but hasn't had a mention. I've also been listening to XTC and Tangerine Dream a lot, and as I'm writing this I'm listening to Witch: We Intend To Cause Havoc!
But which one is going to be album of the season? Honestly, it could be any of them. But I think in the end it has to be...
THAT'S RIGHT! It's Caroline Polachek's Desire, I Want to Turn Into You.
75. Wednesday 17th September 2025 - CASS DAY
Mag visited London today! Toured the usual snack and bubble tea spots in central before we went to see Conjuring 4: The Last One. Very fun time! Picked up a book, "Folk Horror On Film" which will guide my October movie watching hopefully!
It is also CASS DAY, the day wot i said I was changing my name on four years ago. Birthday TWO! now I must pursue HRT purely to secure a third birthday.
anyway aww look at baby cass thinking it's just a phase, how cute!!! congrats bitch you learned that all identity is merely transitory, now LIVE WITH IT and grow boobs.
Foundational post for me. Sometimes silly internet text posts really do have power over your life. There was a tweet a while back that asked "if someone followed you around for a day, would they be able to tell what your practise is?" which did make me REALLY understand just how little I did any writing, or reading, or notetaking, or just anything adjacent to writing at all.
anyway I really should sort out legally changing my name for realsies
78. Saturday 20th September 2025 - Sandord Housing Co-op
Hell yeah. Party in a housing co-op in Deptford. Coolest thing ive ever been to in my life. Food cooked up in people's kitchens and two music stages, and then when it was all over there was a DJ in a living room right on the end of the block. Amazing night of music and community and good vibes. Drank and smoked and had a teeny tiny bit of shroom and giggled all the way home on the tube with Raphi
79. Sunday 21st September 2025 - Skeleton of the Season
A few skeletons have shown themselves this summer.
This one was somewhere in Durham
This guy on a clock in the National Museum of Scotland
ANOTHER skeleton clock spotted in Nosferatu the other day
Cavemanning with the cavemen (my apologies to the cavemen)
But ultimately, this serene one seems like a nice antidote to last newsletter's angry fella. It's been a very contemplative time, what with having this journal running alongside my regular one, and I've spent a lot of time by the sea, be it in Barry or Brighton. So yeah. Here's The Lonely Planet by Mike Worrall.
80. Monday 22nd September 2025 - Autumn Equinoxe
Eighty entries and a whole season later, I'm finished with this ridiculous, self-inguldent edition of The Cass Report. If you'd like to read about movies, heatwaves, vibe shifts, cool jackets and Suella Braverman, head over to the original version with all eighty entries. Or, if you're a masochist, the director's cut which is even longer. What's the plan for today, then? Some folk horror movie, probably. And lots of candles.
